


Understanding

by Meanderfall



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Relationship Study, caleb's usual guilt and self-esteem issues, episode 32 spoilers, until they do something that makes it not that lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 19:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15892596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meanderfall/pseuds/Meanderfall
Summary: Caduceus is odd.





	Understanding

Caduceus is odd.

Caleb already knew this, of course. Hard not to know when you arrive in a graveyard and one of the first things he does is give you dead people tea. He just hadn’t given it much thought. Back then, things were pressing and desperate, urgency making every single second feel like an incredible loss of time and Caduceus’ quiet, relaxed and warm demeanour had been… comforting. He took every single last thing they told him and did in stride, his calmness never breaking, and it was hard not to feel like everything was going to be okay.

Since then, they’ve had time to travel together and be together in situations that _aren_ ’t life or death, and Caleb finds himself struck once more with just how _odd_ their new friend is. He looked into the dodecahedron and didn’t have much to say about it other that it was ‘interesting’, said in the same tone of voice that he used to compliment the Invulnerable Vagrant. Caleb wondered if he truly understood just what kind of power they were holding onto. Then again, it wasn’t like he had the exact context of _how_ they had gotten their hands on this artefact, and likely some of the weight of its importance is lost without it.

And then there was how he looked around while driving the cart. Caleb found himself a little bit fascinated watching him watch the world. Because though his pleasant half-smile and calm demeanour didn’t change, it was obvious he was drinking in the sight of the world around him. Was it really so interesting as that? Caduceus did live his entire life in a graveyard, so he could understand the fascination with the city of Zadash, but surely there wasn’t anything new or special about grass or the sky? And yet he took his time, scrutinizing every single detail, eyes bright and filled with wonder. It made Caleb scan the horizon himself, trying to see it with Caduceus’ eyes, but he found nothing new or special about it. And so he turned back to his books and his contemplation of the dodecahedron.

* * *

 

Caduceus is _terrifying_.

He took one look, one long look at Gustav, and seemed to know everything.

“ _I know what a guilty man looks like._ ”

Caleb finds himself stiffening under Caduceus’ gaze now, heart pounding in his chest. He wants to burrow deeper into his coat and hide away from it. A smaller part of him, no doubt nurtured from his time with Beauregard and Nott, wants to lift his chin and meet that gaze defiantly. But he does neither, and freezes in place instead, waiting for that horribly penetrating gaze to pass him by.

Late at night, as they’re sitting around the fire, waiting for Caduceus to finish making their supper and tea for the night, Caleb finds himself glancing at him, wondering.

How much does he already know? How much as he already seen?

“Mr. Caleb, here’s your tea.” Caduceus smiles at him as he hands over a warm cup filled to the brim with the liquid.

“Oh, _ja_ , thank you.” Caleb stutters, wide-eyed and worried if Caduceus has noticed him staring.

But Caduceus does nothing but smile. “It’s not trouble at all.” And moves on to the next person.

…What does it mean to still be treated with kindness and care when they are still strangers, when Caduceus has had no opportunity to get fooled into caring about him before learning the truth of what kind of person he is? When he _must_ know what he has done?

Caleb doesn’t know.

**Author's Note:**

> idk, i just think caleb would be a little freaked out about caduceus after what happened with gustav.


End file.
